Stylin' with SoCozy

*This post was sponsored by SoCozy through Brandbacker but all opinions are 100% my own. I love to spit the truth. Thank you as always for supporting Prim and Propah and the brands that make this space possible.

You may recall last month me talking about the SoCozy Hush line. Well, this is a sort of follow up on how we are the biggest fans here in the Propah Household. My toddler now has the words "styling foam" in his vocabulary and actually loves to do his hair. The new 'do that he has, makes him look a little like a punk which makes tantrums a little less adorable but he has really taken to styling his own hair, with a little help from Mom of course. What I love about the SoCozy Hush line is that I don't have to worry about my little man getting his hands on a product that has lots of chemicals and nasty stuff in it. Instead, I let him go all in on taking care of his hair.

I don't have to tell you that creating a safe environment for my kids is important. This means that I care for them, create security but it also means that I'm paying attention to what I feed them, what I buy to clean out home and what I'm putting on them. To find a product line like SoCozy makes me happy. Seriously. I love that I'm able to find these products so easily (hello Target) and that they're affordable.

Hush features an ultra-gentle blend of ingredients that help soothe and heal itchy, irritated, and inflamed scalps

SoCozy is So Smart, So Safe, So Easy and So Cool:

So Smart: Genius is more like it. SoCozy believes knowledge is power, which is why education is at its core—the pulse of the brand—so you’ll always find the latest advice, solutions, tips, and trends.

So Safe: No nasties in there; just good, clean, honest formulations with ingredients that perform at the highest level. SoCozy is always safe and effective, and completely non-toxic.

So Easy: Because being a parent isn’t always easy, SoCozy makes hair care that is. These simple, fun, multi-functional products streamline tub time to make styling a snap.

So Cool: Take a strand. SoCozy encourages and supports individuality. For all kids and any hair type—SoCozy’s mission is to build confidence and inspire originality.

Have you used any of the SoCozy products on your littles? I would love to hear about you experience! Find them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram! 

On Diving Into Hustle and Out of My 9-5

Teddy is three months old today, y'all. I don't know how it happened so fast. Things have been hectic and wild for the past three months and to say that some days, I don't know which way is up, well that would be an understatement. We're loving some parts of life as a family of four, others not so much. Having two kids is no joke and not for the weak of heart but it's a different LOVE ballgame than it was before. It's just the course that my life is taking. Anyone with kids knows that you have to make logistical decisions because having a family isn't just fun and poop, though that is a part of it.

So with a second child, obviously, the cost of things go up. We got one kid out of diapers in time to have another in them. I breast feed which saves money on formula lol but there are some things that you just can't avoid... like CHILDCARE. Any parent out there knows that in order to work, someone has to watch your children. Some people are super lucky to have family help, but for a lot of people, you need childcare and pssst it's hella expensive. To put another kid in daycare, well, that was a cost that we couldn't really absorb. I make a pretty good living as a project manager and have been with my company for 7 years. That being said, we would still be losing money each month by having two kids in daycare. LOSING MONEY. So we made the decision. Amanda is going to be a stay at home mom to two growing boys, effective immediately. Three years ago, this wasn't even in my plan. In case you were wondering, having been with my company so long, I did ask for a raise and a promotion, It's absolutely my right to ask for what I want/deserve and I had been working like a dog up until my delivery date. Unfortunately, what you deserve isn't always the value that an employer might put on you, no matter how hard you work. Such is life... but what my employer really did was to do me a huge favor. I'm very excited about this new adventure... mostly.

I'll tell you a quick story about an experience that I had. Maybe eight years ago, I was out to dinner with some friends. I was still only dating my husband at the time and had no life experience really. A girl we were dining with was talking about being a stay at home mom; she was one. I said very nonchalantly that I would probably be bored being a SAHM. I very much offended her so much so that I haven't talked to her in years. She thought that I was making a comment on her worth, her value, which obviously I was not but I'm sure my delivery could have used some work. I didn't mean to offend and like I said, I didn't have any parenting experience but guess what... just because I have two kids now and some years of marriage under my belt doesn't mean that I feel much differently. I do think that I'll probably be bored sometimes being home with these kids day in and day out but there is more, way more positive about this new chapter that I am embarking on. I'm not just a Mom, I'm a hustler, baby.

Having this blog, it's allowed me to have a side hustle and has created an avenue that I want to put more time into. It has opened me up to meeting new people, engaging and building professional relationships outside of my 9-5. With those relationships have come great opportunities, friendships and sometimes the two collide. It's an amazing feeling knowing that I can stay home and watch my kids grow, take them on adventures (which I'm sure I'll document here) but at the same time, I can bring some money on the scene, which whether you like it or not, is always a helpful thing to have. I'm creative and thrifty. I'm fun loving and adventurous. Even though the career identity that I've related to since I graduated college (some manner of project manager) is now changing, I'm taking on a new role and that is the manager of my household, the creator of our life, without that pesky 9-5 stressing me out all the time. I feel extremely relieved and also a feeling of release. It's hard to explain. I feel lucky. I know that much.

I'm sure there will be some tough days, some days where my patience is tested, where I'm "mean mommy". I'm sure you'll see me complaining about being tired or needed "me" time. What I do know is that despite these inevitable days of frowning, I will be a much happier person now that I can cultivate not only this space but tinker around my creating and look for opportunities that actually interest me, not just ones that pay the bills. Also, I mean, I get to snuggle my little boys daily. That's the biggest bonus out of all of this, hands down.

On the First Weeks of Motherhood... Again

So as I look back on the piece of garbage that the year 2016 was, I have to really just concentrate on one thing, the newest blessing to our family, Theodore Robin Light or "Teddy", who was born just a few days before Christmas. I have to concentrate on this one thing because at it's core, I could not find a ton to be grateful for this year. I did my very best to be positive after the death of David Bowie (a serious loss if you know me), through an exhausting pregnancy, after what was the most tumultuous and ultimately the most supremely disappointing election cycle on absolutely almost every personal level for me and a work project that went from one month of 50 hour work weeks to four months of working like a dog up until, literally my water broke... I'm sitting here, writing this, and even with my newborn sleeping like an angel by my side, I am still finding it really hard to be appreciative of what I have and how good I've got it- healthy family, great support system, blessed with a home and everything we need and the list goes on...

Perhaps you're saying to yourself "Amanda, maybe you shouldn't write blog posts with only one week under your belt with a newborn. You need perspective." To that, I say, I most certainly should be writing a blog post and I'll tell you why. Life with a newborn is motha effin' hard. Like super hard and I need to get this off of my chest. On one hand, you have this precious little creature who is dependent on you for every single thing at every hour of the day and on the other hand you have a precious little creature who is dependent on you for every single thing at every hour of the day. Besides the human child, there's everything happening in/on your postpartum body. I guess I don't remember being that irritated after Wes was born but my body is reacting all sorts of cray right now. Post labor healing aside (which is maje don't get me wrong), I have a rash on my chest and stomach. I've totally broken out on my face, like more than I ever have in my entire life. My hormones are manageable yet still all out of whack thus making me sad. I'm happy to have the baby living outside my body but I still look pregnant so that's a bummer to the already limping self esteem... You know, all these things add up when you're running on 3-4 hours of non-consecutive sleep a night at best. As if that wasn't enough, I have mastitis which, simply put, is a breast infection, that hurts like a mother, that you basically have to breast feed through with antibiotics. Yikes, that's a lot to deal with, right? But you have the help of your husband, no? Well, yes and no. Both my husband and toddler have been sick with the plague since we came home from the hospital so while my husband has been taking care of the two of them, I've been basically using my person to block my newborn from anything having to do with the other male peoples in order to hopefully keep him from getting sick... but all it's really doing is stressing me out. We've been to the pediatrician's four times this week because Teddy is/was jaundiced and has been monitored consistently. Each visit required an extensive blood draw which left a screaming 8lb munchkin melting in my arms. A nurse told me on the other day "this too shall pass"... that's the line I use, and it's not working this time, sistah! I'm kind of friggin' exhausted and can't help but live in my "now"!

I know myself and I'll get through this because this is peanuts compared to what some people have to deal with but I'm SO ready to say a big "SEE YA 2016! DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YA!" I already love my new family with our sassy little butterball as the newest addition. I know I love our little family despite being absolutely miserable otherwise... it's going to be a matter of workin' some stuff out on the homefront here. I feel like this post can be a cleansing breath that is much needed. 2016 wasn't ready to let me ease on out! I'm going to take this weekend, hopefully with a little more sleep, and really reflect on what I should be grateful for, what I am looking forward to this coming year and what I hope to achieve with this precious time that I've been given with my peoples. I know I've got some ass kicking to do in 2017 so it'll be time to mentally prepare for it! Now to swoon over my newborn because newborns, if nothing else, are just so sweet to look at, and hold, and smell, and love on ... and they also have no problem staring you down, wide awake at 2am lol.

Spending Time as a Mother of One

You may have seen on my social media that this is happening... yep, we're expanding our family! Some have said that I've been sitting on this news for awhile but to be honest, the Summer has flown by and up until recently, I was feeling a little tired but pretty OK. Well, the bump is present and boy am I tired, achey, whiney, tired and tired... did I mention that I'm tired? I am living with a whirling dirvish of a toddler who is as sweet as they come but does require quite a bit of my attention. I've barely had time to pay attention to this pregnancy and to be honest, it's really flying by, which is kind of scaring me.

It was Labor Day that I really took stock of where I'm at. Currently, I'm a mother of one but that's going to change around the Holidays... and you know what? That made me sad to think of not being able to devote all my love and affection to my sweet first born. I had one of those days, where if you were to put it on paper, it would seem unremarkable. I took Wesley to Dollar Tree, to Target, Walgreens and out to eat at the 99 (because Family restaurant!). I mean, that doesn't seem like the BEST day... but it was. My son and I enjoyed eachother's comany, the way that a 2 1/2 year old can at least. He was agreeable. He was joyful. He was talkative. He behaved. He picked out new Minions sunglasses. There was no whining. He lasted well past his naptime and didn't make me regret dragging him all around. When we got home, he was just too happy and excited to take a nap, so instead, we laid on the daybed in his room for "quiet time". He snuggled me, gave me smooches, chatted happily about his Mama and Daddy and Doggy and it was just the most special. I'm telling you that the "simplest" day is going in my memory banks as one of my favorite as a mother of one.

It's hard to express this feeling of sadness, sadness that I don't have that much time left to just be me and my little buddy. I should be super happy that we are welcoming another little boy into the family, and yes, I am but that doesn't take away from the fact that I haven't really stopped to appreciate the time that I've had as a mother of one and now I feel like that time is wasting away. Of course, pregnancy hormones don't help matters but the overflowing love of a mother will soon need to be shared with another and I'm just not 100% sure how that's going to work... but then, I guess, I wasn't quite sure how it was going to work with just the one, and that love shook out in all the right ways.

We can hashtag this post, #CrazyMomThoughts

I Like Talking About Kids... and Other Things

I don't know what has caused this recent inner dialogue with myself, an inner dialogue that has me debating my virility as an independent adult woman, an individual in her own right. I've been going back and forth on whether I can go out and interact with other women without gushing about the baby, life with a baby, issues with a baby, being tired from living with a lot of babies... you get the picture. When I am out in public with other adult women, I field questions about my child somewhat flippantly, almost like I could "take or leave" him because I don't want to bore people with my slow moving parenting existence rather than thinking that they might actually be interested. Why I have this new "complex" about being mundane rather than amazing, is somewhat confusing. Yes, my life can be a little boring (+ frustrating) at times but mostly it's an awesome adventure that I am venturing on, that not everyone has had the opportunity to experience or wants to for that matter (which it fine by me!). Despite how I act sometimes, I actually like talking about my kid to other people. For instance, next time you see me, ask me about our first trip to the ER this past Saturday. I'll gladly fill you in on my sub par parenting with a wiggly/slippery child during an impromptu bath.  Important detail: Kid flirted with elderly women in ER waiting room like it was his job.

What I am getting at is that I like to talk about my child and when asked, I am not just going to fluff people off to "spare" them the boring details but I am going to give appropriate answers, showing love and affection, with a touch of humor because that's how we roll in the Propah household. I like talking about kids; yours, mine, the Royals... you get it. But besides kids, I like talking about other adult things like music, art, the new Star Wars movie, The Bachelorette (Kaitlyn is the worst), organic beauty, politics, shopping, eating, sleeping in... see? I have a lot of different interests. Just because I have a child, and hope to have more, and like talking about said child doesn't mean that I have become a lifeless blob of a woman who has no interests outside of the home + motherhood. Damn if I don't have a ton of interests, a lot of which I will gladly adult conversate about with you anytime you want.

5 Things I Want to Teach my Children

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I want my children to behave. Not behave as in, No Temper Tantrums, Please but more so how I want to see my children behave as people of the world. It's hard to make a "game plan" as to how you want to raise your children because, dude, on some days, I am doing whatever I can to make it through... and I only have one for now! But I am starting to become more conscious of how my actions are molding my child; how he sees what we do and mimics it. For now, it's simple things like opening doors but soon it will be behaviors and in the way that he treats people... I am certainly not going to get all preachy on you guys but I wanted to put out there, sort of a mission statement, on what I want to teach my children, so that they become good citizens of the world.

What Happens When Your Child Hurts Your Feelings

Can an 11 month hurt your feelings? I am here to tell you that the answer is a BOOMING YES. This past week, my husband has been out of town on business so it's been a one woman show. One woman shows are pretty, pretty hard (shout out to the single parents out there doing it for themselves). Things wouldn't have been so bad, I suppose, if this hadn't been the week that my beautiful, and usually delightful, child decided that he was going to voice his distaste for every single thing that I do. OK not every single thing, but a lot of things. The word "No" has resulted in pre-tantrum like tears.  Here, have another bite of your yogurt? No? Screeches ensue. Every diaper and outfit change has been a battle royale... After about 4 days of hitting the ground running, with formidable opposition, sometimes as early as 5am, things start to get to you...

How could this precious child hurt anyone's feelings?

The Struggle is Real

You guys, lately, I have been struggling.  I have been struggling to come to terms with the new roles and realities in my life. How does one be a mother and also feel free to be an independent, stylish and put together lady who achieves all the goals she sets for herself? *Scratches Head*... Coming to terms with the fact that my life has changed so much in the past year, mostly for the better and learning to go with the flow, has been kind of tough on me. Even when I was pregnant, I went out and did the things that I wanted to do, up until the very end. I didn't hesitate to make a last minute decision and run with it. I went to events. I got facials same day appointments. I started projects and whipped out my sewing machine on a whim. I did lots of stuff for myself. Things aren't like that any more. I have oodles of responsibilities. Sure, I had responsibilities before but things are way more real now, like, I am 1 of 2 people keeping an infant alive. A good majority of the food for said infant is either being created by my body or being bought by this body at Target or being made by this body in a food processor (with mixed results). The point that I'm getting at is that life is different and while I love being a mother (like, WHOA BIG TIME LOVE IT), I don't love how little time I have left at the end of the day to be "me". Who am I anyways?

Ladies I Love: Jordan Reid, Ramshackle Glam + a Giveaway

When the book Ramshackle Glam: The New Mom's Haphazard Guide to (Almost) Having It All was released in the Spring of 2014, I was knee deep in What to Expect When You're Expecting type books filled with all things pregnancy related. Being that this is my first baby, I was like, totally not prepared for everything that no one tells you once that little bundle of joy (and poop and love) arrives. I think that a lot of what comes with being a new mother is kept on the DL because if we talk about our worries and what we fear are failures, we might be viewed as a bad mother by those judgey types. Or so I would assume... I haven't shied away from expressing anything and everything that is on my mind so when I (belatedly) picked up Jordan Reid's book on being a new mother, "having it all" and lots of the in between, her blunt honesty was/is refreshing and greatly appreciated. Her willingness to share some intimate details and stories of hormonal outbursts were not only humorous but also made me feel like I am not alone in this world where I am now responsible for a human life and keeping my sanity intact at the same time. 

I excitedly reached out to Jordan and tried not to gush too much about how much I liked the book, how I could relate and how pretty I think she is, but you know, I am only human. She was such a doll and agreed to answer some of my most burning questions. Check out what she had to say and after that, you should totally stick around to see how you can score a copy of her sassy book.

How Becoming a Mother Has Made Me Different Types of Crazy

I had Wes two months ago, well two months ago this coming Sunday. It has been an adventure let me tell you, one that I have loved but having said that.... I am a changed woman. A whole new world has been opened up to me and all I can tell you is that I have become crazy, in so many ways. Yep, crazy is the right word to describe it. Let me explain...

Crazy about Human Babies and Animal Young Alike- A Robin built a nest in a tree right next to our bathroom window literally feet away. For weeks, I could hear the little squeaks of baby birds and see their little mouths waiting for food from Mama. Then one day we had torrential rain and wind. I watched the mother sitting on those birds, protecting them. Geesh, I am tearing up thinking about it... At the end of the night, I was afraid those birds were dead. In between checking on my own child, I obsessively watched the nest with a fear that I would find dead baby birds. I searched online to ensure that the mother hadn't abandoned her young. I actually created an account on some nest watchers site (which I have since unsubscribed from). Point is, I worry about the young, because I am worrying about my own little baby that I have nurturing in a much bigger nest with a much larger timeline before pushing my young out of it. Note: The mother Robin returned to her nest and they all have since left. I see their empty nest sitting there and am happy that we helped keep a family of birds safe this Spring.

Crazy about Strangers- I was out for ice cream with the baby. A woman lit up a cigarette not only close to about 40 people but legitimately right next to Wes' stroller. I got out of dodge so fast, you'd think I was in a race. A woman outside of Michael's creepily leered into his stroller while I was walking by, with her lit cigarette dangling out of her hand and dangerously close to my baby. She wanted to sit and chat about how tiny he was. I was legitimately rude and blew by her with a thanks, but no thanks attitude. Seriously? What makes people think it's OK to smoke near other people's children?

Another thing about strangers is that I don't know them... and the unknown makes me crazy when my child is involved. The man and I walked to Dunkin' Donuts the other day. It was super busy that morning and while we were waiting for our coffees, a Garda guy was changing money out of an ATM. I zeroed right in on the gun in his holster, you know because he needs a gun with all the cash he carries in and out of places. I immediately created a scenario in my head where someone tried to take advantage of the hustle and bustle of the DD, tried to get the cash, there was a struggle where shots were fired and I had to shield my 7 week old from bullets. A little crazy? Yes. Did I make my husband bring the baby around the corner while I waited for our coffees just in case? Yes.

Crazy Sensitive- Did enough people like my picture of Wes on Instagram for me to feel like people like my new baby? Why didn't so and so congratulate me when the baby was born? Do they not care? I love my baby and so should everyone else... those are the thoughts going through my head. I will take offense to something on behalf of my 7 week old who isn't even offended by his own gas.

A different type of sensitivity...We were catching up on Game of Thrones and I couldn't watch any scenes with babies in it, because if you watch Game of Thrones you know that no one is safe. Those babies are fictional. The baby that was given to the White Walkers was an actor baby. Did it still upset me? Yes. Similarly, the new show on HBO, The Leftovers... first episode, first scene a baby disappears and I was like heeeeeellllllllllll no. Damn you HBO and your riveting, emotion evoking television!

Sleep Deprived Crazy- The things that come along with a newborn involve sleep deprivation which leads to a general type of crazy. I am moody, emotional, loving, tired, hangry. You name it and I have been there in the past two months. I hear babies cry even when there are no babies crying. I am a shell of my former self right now...

Crazy Protective- I have been taking walks with Wes since the pediatrician gave us the go ahead at his two week appointment. Every day, we venture a little further from home since I am trying to lose the baby weight and walking is the best I can do with the time I have right now. Last week, at our normal time, we walked ambitiously far from home. About a mile or so away from home, the dark clouds started rolling in and almost simultaneously my phone blew up with alerts on tornado warnings in my area and to take shelter. Believe me when I tell you that I almost immediately shat my pants for fear that something would happen to the baby. I then in the moment following that feeling, started running with the stroller. Believe me when I tell you that I hadn't run in over a year. On a normal day, I wouldn't have run by choice... but on that day? I am pretty sure I ran a 10 minute mile, and got my baby home right before the rain started and the severe weather came through. On that run, I ran through every scenario I would have had, between knocking on someone's door to seek shelter to having to dodge falling branches. Thankfully none of those scenarios came true but I was willing to do anything to protect my baby. I, of course, balled my eyes out when we were at home. The baby, obvi, was literally all smiles.

Crazy about my Baby- The best kind of crazy of all? It's how crazy in love with my baby that I am. The little man has been my buddy for the past two months, making my heart overflow with every little new thing he does. He is a perfect combination of my husband and me, or so we think. He is the little nugget that keeps me motivated even though I am otherwise a dead tired Moo Cow. He is my angel baby. Motherhood isn't always going to be the cat's pajamas but it's going to be one of the most rewarding things I will do with my life and I have only just begun.