Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Spending Time as a Mother of One

You may have seen on my social media that this is happening... yep, we're expanding our family! Some have said that I've been sitting on this news for awhile but to be honest, the Summer has flown by and up until recently, I was feeling a little tired but pretty OK. Well, the bump is present and boy am I tired, achey, whiney, tired and tired... did I mention that I'm tired? I am living with a whirling dirvish of a toddler who is as sweet as they come but does require quite a bit of my attention. I've barely had time to pay attention to this pregnancy and to be honest, it's really flying by, which is kind of scaring me.

It was Labor Day that I really took stock of where I'm at. Currently, I'm a mother of one but that's going to change around the Holidays... and you know what? That made me sad to think of not being able to devote all my love and affection to my sweet first born. I had one of those days, where if you were to put it on paper, it would seem unremarkable. I took Wesley to Dollar Tree, to Target, Walgreens and out to eat at the 99 (because Family restaurant!). I mean, that doesn't seem like the BEST day... but it was. My son and I enjoyed eachother's comany, the way that a 2 1/2 year old can at least. He was agreeable. He was joyful. He was talkative. He behaved. He picked out new Minions sunglasses. There was no whining. He lasted well past his naptime and didn't make me regret dragging him all around. When we got home, he was just too happy and excited to take a nap, so instead, we laid on the daybed in his room for "quiet time". He snuggled me, gave me smooches, chatted happily about his Mama and Daddy and Doggy and it was just the most special. I'm telling you that the "simplest" day is going in my memory banks as one of my favorite as a mother of one.

It's hard to express this feeling of sadness, sadness that I don't have that much time left to just be me and my little buddy. I should be super happy that we are welcoming another little boy into the family, and yes, I am but that doesn't take away from the fact that I haven't really stopped to appreciate the time that I've had as a mother of one and now I feel like that time is wasting away. Of course, pregnancy hormones don't help matters but the overflowing love of a mother will soon need to be shared with another and I'm just not 100% sure how that's going to work... but then, I guess, I wasn't quite sure how it was going to work with just the one, and that love shook out in all the right ways.

We can hashtag this post, #CrazyMomThoughts

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