Monday, March 20, 2017

On Diving Into Hustle and Out of My 9-5

Teddy is three months old today, y'all. I don't know how it happened so fast. Things have been hectic and wild for the past three months and to say that some days, I don't know which way is up, well that would be an understatement. We're loving some parts of life as a family of four, others not so much. Having two kids is no joke and not for the weak of heart but it's a different LOVE ballgame than it was before. It's just the course that my life is taking. Anyone with kids knows that you have to make logistical decisions because having a family isn't just fun and poop, though that is a part of it.

So with a second child, obviously, the cost of things go up. We got one kid out of diapers in time to have another in them. I breast feed which saves money on formula lol but there are some things that you just can't avoid... like CHILDCARE. Any parent out there knows that in order to work, someone has to watch your children. Some people are super lucky to have family help, but for a lot of people, you need childcare and pssst it's hella expensive. To put another kid in daycare, well, that was a cost that we couldn't really absorb. I make a pretty good living as a project manager and have been with my company for 7 years. That being said, we would still be losing money each month by having two kids in daycare. LOSING MONEY. So we made the decision. Amanda is going to be a stay at home mom to two growing boys, effective immediately. Three years ago, this wasn't even in my plan. In case you were wondering, having been with my company so long, I did ask for a raise and a promotion, It's absolutely my right to ask for what I want/deserve and I had been working like a dog up until my delivery date. Unfortunately, what you deserve isn't always the value that an employer might put on you, no matter how hard you work. Such is life... but what my employer really did was to do me a huge favor. I'm very excited about this new adventure... mostly.

I'll tell you a quick story about an experience that I had. Maybe eight years ago, I was out to dinner with some friends. I was still only dating my husband at the time and had no life experience really. A girl we were dining with was talking about being a stay at home mom; she was one. I said very nonchalantly that I would probably be bored being a SAHM. I very much offended her so much so that I haven't talked to her in years. She thought that I was making a comment on her worth, her value, which obviously I was not but I'm sure my delivery could have used some work. I didn't mean to offend and like I said, I didn't have any parenting experience but guess what... just because I have two kids now and some years of marriage under my belt doesn't mean that I feel much differently. I do think that I'll probably be bored sometimes being home with these kids day in and day out but there is more, way more positive about this new chapter that I am embarking on. I'm not just a Mom, I'm a hustler, baby.

Having this blog, it's allowed me to have a side hustle and has created an avenue that I want to put more time into. It has opened me up to meeting new people, engaging and building professional relationships outside of my 9-5. With those relationships have come great opportunities, friendships and sometimes the two collide. It's an amazing feeling knowing that I can stay home and watch my kids grow, take them on adventures (which I'm sure I'll document here) but at the same time, I can bring some money on the scene, which whether you like it or not, is always a helpful thing to have. I'm creative and thrifty. I'm fun loving and adventurous. Even though the career identity that I've related to since I graduated college (some manner of project manager) is now changing, I'm taking on a new role and that is the manager of my household, the creator of our life, without that pesky 9-5 stressing me out all the time. I feel extremely relieved and also a feeling of release. It's hard to explain. I feel lucky. I know that much.

I'm sure there will be some tough days, some days where my patience is tested, where I'm "mean mommy". I'm sure you'll see me complaining about being tired or needed "me" time. What I do know is that despite these inevitable days of frowning, I will be a much happier person now that I can cultivate not only this space but tinker around my creating and look for opportunities that actually interest me, not just ones that pay the bills. Also, I mean, I get to snuggle my little boys daily. That's the biggest bonus out of all of this, hands down.

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