Thursday, October 11, 2012

Top 5 Reasons why KITTENS! are Amazing

So because I have about 3-4 posts worth of pictures on my camera (bridal shower outfit, bachelorette and a DIY etc and so on), which apparently has run away from home (actually it's in my friend's car), I have decided that it was necessary to broach the very important topic of KITTENS. Kittens are an important asset to the human race (mainly me) and I will give you all the reasons why. Be prepared to be riveted.

 A kitten is a juvenile domesticated cat. Thank you Wikipedia

For the sake of this article, when I refer to kittens, I refer to all manner of cat. Kittens that are young, kittens that are big, kittens that eat macaroni and kittens that are sometimes referred to as "wild" cats.

Top 5 Reasons why Kittens are amazing:

1. Cats are job creators. Take for instance an entire site dedicated to mostly kitten pictures? You might be familiar with  I Can Has Cheezburger? Pretty sure that lolcats are keeping some people in a job. I think these kittens may or may not be Democrats but one cannot be sure.

2. A Kitten can kill you. I don't think this is amazing in regard to me wanting to die at the paws of a kitten. This is amazing in regard to kittens, albeit big ones, having the capacity to murder you, then eat you, while their smaller cousins beg you for food in the morning like they haven't eaten in weeks. Either way, I still want to give the murderous ones as many kisses as I want to give the smaller ones, which means that they can literally kill you with cuteness. Damn.

Family Photo
3. Everybody wants to be a cat. I've heard some corny birds who who tried to sing, still a cat's the only cat who knows how to swing.Who wants to dig a long haired gig or stuff like that, when everybody wants to be a cat? Everybody wants to be a cat, because a cats the only cat who knows where it's at. While playin' jazz you always have a welcome mat, 'cause everybody digs a swinging cat.

4. They are complex creatures, just like you and me. Kittens will sit outside of your shower, protecting you while you are most vulnerable. When you want them to snuggle with you to watch Dance Moms, they don't want to be near you, but that could also be the Dance Moms. They are just so darn hard to understand! But do we love them anyways? Yes, of course... Much like human beings, too right ol' chap!

5. Kittens look like fluffy angels, which keeps us from killing them while they are young. This is more an amazing trait that kittens have rather than why they are amazing... although it would be said that this does make them amazing... but I digress. Have you ever had a baby kitten? They are a nightmare. They will knock down your Christmas tree and then stock pile the ornaments to bat around in July. They will climb up your curtains all nimbly bimbly then shred them on their way down. They will climb into a hole in the ceiling of your roommate's bedroom and get stuck there and all you will hear is a soft meowing coming from somewhere inside your walls.. They will do all manner of things that will make you want to throw them out the window but what is there to stop you? It's how friggin' cute and fluffy they are. It almost seems as they start to settle down they also stop being so fluffy. It's an amazing instinctual progression that felines possess. Well played, kittehs, well played.

Was this satisfactorily random enough for you all?


  1. Ummm, I will get you your camera ASAP!

  2. best post ever. haha i'm so renting aristocats this weekend.


  4. It's hard not to love kittens!!

  5. So pretty kittens whrite?!


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