Friday, January 13, 2017

On Self Esteem + What Shoes and a Dress Can Do

Post pregnancy, boy, does it do a number on pretty much every area of your life. Having the newborn living with/on you aside, there are hormones and the sleep deprivation and the dreaded post-baby body. I had sort of set my expectations on what the ol' bod would be like after this second baby but let's just say that if #1 did a number on me, well, #2 certainly pushed the envelope. The last three weeks have been an exercise in keeping my expectations of how fast I get my "body back" in check and trying to boost my own self esteem... self esteem. It's a tough one. No matter how confident you may think that you are, there's always a moment when you question yourself, how you look and how you behave. I'm just going to put this out there, I gained over 50lbs with this last pregnancy, a full 20lbs more than I gained in my first. From my last two doctors appointments, I had gained 10lbs in two weeks... it was kind of devastating, especially with some surging hormones. Once the baby came, I lost almost 30lbs of it in the past 3 weeks and I'm sure the last 20lbs will be an uphill battle. I'm trying not to think about the numbers but rather boosting my self esteem with positive thinking and now, guess what? The resurgence of what was once an "outfit post" but now it's going to serve as a reminder of what a little effort, some cute clothes/shoes and a lunch date can do for a Mom nursing a newborn. It's not about the numbers on the scale but rather how I measure myself in strength and smiles and happy things in my life, living well.

I love being a Mom and am excited to be raising another spirited boy who will make me proud some day but one thing I have to be sure of is that I'm not neglecting myself in the process. It's so easy for a Mom to be the martyr, selflessly giving up her shower to ensure that everyone else's needs are met. Guess what, this time, I'm taking my shower every day, getting dressed(ish), putting on a little makeup and ensuring that I feel good about myself, even if I'm just taking the kids to the park. I may not be in my pre-pregnancy jeans yet but there are things in my closet that will allow for the extra padding and these humongous, well, you know. Eshakti sent me this dress before I had the baby and I was kind of hoping/praying that I'd be able to wear it this century... and I did. Just this week, the man and I took PropahBaby2 out to lunch, I donned my new dress (that I altered in length and sleeves) and new boots that White Mountain Shoes sent. Not only did the dress fit but the boots also pulled up over my calves, which I thought was impossible. Seriously, this was an instant self esteem boost!

Sure, I still have some hangups when I look at these pictures. I see what I view as flaws and even hesitated to hit publish on this blog post. That being said, I think I may do more of these types of posts as I navigate post-pregnancy and beyond because my body is changing, my outlook on things is as well. I am hoping that more often than not, I'll give myself a pass, not stressing too much about my body image. We're often our own worst enemies and I plan to treat myself like gold and enjoy this new chapter of life with a positive twist whenever possible.

Do you have any tips and tricks on boosting the self esteem? Does a pretty dress and new shoes do it for you?

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